Let Go
by CrystalViolet
Summary: *AU* When Sirius wakes up alone in bed after finally getting what he wants, will he be able to get his love interest to just let go and accept their fate? (Judges Honorable Mention of the 'Something Worth Fighting For' competition and Runner Up for Best Smut, Best Romance, & Best Angst).


**Disclaimer: All canon character, plots, and situations from the Harry Potter series belong to JK Rowling. I am not profiting from this work.**

* * *

Sirius woke slowly, his eyes blinking against the sunlight streaming in through the windows. Laying still for a few moments, his mind slowly came into focus, as he took in his surroundings, memories of the prior night flowing gently to the front of his mind. He stretched, his limbs heavy with fatigue, before sitting up to lean against the headboard, the sheets pooling around his waist. He leaned his head back, his gaze shifting to his right. He wasn't surprised to find the bed empty, but he couldn't hold back the disappointment that hit him.

 _Maybe only to use the loo?_ He thought to himself, his hand sliding over the sheets. The bed was cool.

He felt his chest tighten, anxiety stealing away his breath even as he internally chastised himself for the reaction. He struggled to take a deep breath, trying with all his might to push back the sorrow that was crawling its way through his body. He rubbed his face, sliding his hands up into his hair, fingers gripping the thick strands as he closed his eyes trying to contain the moisture that threatened to escape.

"It was a mistake," a quiet voice said, cutting through the silence of the room like a knife. "I'm sorry."

Sirius let a humorless chuckle escape his lips as he tried to pull his thoughts together. He breathed deeply through his nose, dropping his hands to his lap. He sat still for a moment, struggling to compose himself before opening his eyes. He settled his gaze upon Remus, sitting across the room.

"I shouldn't have taken advantage of…" Remus began, placing his head in his hands.

"Oh, shut up," Sirius replied, cutting him off, trying to temper the anger that was starting to build in his veins.

"Sirius, it was a mistake," Remus said, standing and beginning to pace the room.

"Do you regret it?" Sirius asked, crossing his legs, his elbows resting on his knees. "Do you regret what we did?"

"No!" Remus replied, wincing a bit as he realized he answered just a bit too quickly. "But it doesn't make it any less of a mistake," he added quietly.

"Why?" Sirius asked, frowning. "Why was it a mistake? Are you afraid of what people will say? Are you afraid that they will call you bent, a pillow biter, an arse ba…?"

"Shut up!" Remus interrupted, slamming his hand down on the footboard. "Just shut the fuck up! Do you always have to be such an arsehole?"

Sirius watched Remus, his eyes roaming over the other man's body, watching as his muscles flexed. He knew Remus was trying to control his anger. Even then, Sirius couldn't be bothered to care at the moment. All he could think of was the taste of the other man's skin against his tongue. It wasn't until their eyes met that Sirius realized the precariousness of the situation. It was when his gaze met with amber that Sirius understood.

"Ahhh," Sirius said quietly. "So, that's what it is." He could see the shame in Remus's eyes before Remus closed them tightly.

Sirius stood from the bed, uncaring that he was completely stark under the sheets, and walked over to Remus, placing his hand on the younger man's cheek. His fingers brushed gently against Remus's cheekbone.

"Look at me," he commanded quietly, knowing he was playing a dangerous game, especially this close to the full moon. Moony wouldn't appreciate like the command.

Remus let out a quiet growl as he opened his eyes to look at Sirius, and he found himself desperately wanting to touch Sirius, to push him against the wall and show him who would be the dominant one in this relationship. Sirius watched, quietly, as Remus struggled to contain the wolf for a few minutes before taking another step closer.

"Sirius," Remus warned. "Stop. We can't continue this."

"Why?" Sirius said, pushing himself closer, feeling the rough fabric of Remus's trousers and jumper against his skin.

"You know why!" Remus exclaimed, his eyes wandering over Sirius's body, his lips parting as he began to breathe just a little bit quicker.

"No, obviously, I don't. Tell me. Give me one good reason."

"You know what I am!"

"Oh, yes," Sirius said with a grin, his hand trailing down Remus's face, fingers wrapping around his neck, thumb pressed against the pulse point, "you are one very fit man."

"Sirius…" Remus said with exasperation, his eyes closing. His body was betraying him. The wolf was betraying him. He moaned softly, his imagination taking control. He wanted nothing more than to push Sirius against the wall and sink into his warm, tight heat. To sink his teeth into Sirius's skin, marking him as his, and his alone. Remus's eyes snapped open and he pushed Sirius away.

"Remus…" Sirius took a step towards him.

"No, stop! Don't come closer!" Remus yelled. His mind was racing. He needed to get away. He needed to leave before he gave into the instinct to make Sirius his. He knew about mates, he knew what it meant, but he never expected it to feel like this or for it to be Sirius. Gods, he had known him for years. Why now?

"I need to go," Remus said, trying to get to the door. "James…I told James I would help him with," he paused, trying to come up with a good excuse, "with…something, before the full moon tonight."

"Remus, stop," Sirius said quietly, placing his hand on Remus's shoulder. Remus jerked, pulling away from him.

"Sirius, no!" he growled. He needed to get away, he could only push down Moony and his desires for so long. "God dammit!" he broke down, tears breaking free and running down his face. "Don't you understand what I am?" he shoved Sirius away, slamming his hands against the other man's chest. "Don't you fucking get it?" he hit him again. "I am a fucking disgrace, a pariah, I will drag you down until you are viewed as horribly as I am."

"Remus," Sirius stepped closer, grabbing the other man's arms to keep him from hitting him again. "You seem to forget who I am," he said with a smile. "I think people have already made up their minds about me."

"You idiot, you just don't get it, do you?" Remus struggled against Sirius's hold. "I am not a good man. I am a monster and it would do you well to remember that."

"Remus, I am sorry, but that's complete and utter bullshit. Moony does not define who you are. You know the man you truly are, Remus! This heart is where you truly live!" he tapped his fingers against Remus's chest. "This heart! Fuck what anyone else thinks!" (1)

The wall that Remus had been building finally broke and he moved quickly, wrapping Sirius in his arms, capturing his lips with his own. The kiss was full of need; rough and demanding. Remus slammed Sirius against the wall, a picture next to them somewhere falling to the ground, the glass breaking. He didn't care, all he could think about was Sirius's body beneath his fingers. Remus's hands ran along the length of Sirius; his body relishing in the feel of their frames pressed against one another.

Sirius responded with a moan, dragging in a deep breath through his nose as Remus nipped his lower lip hard enough to draw blood. He ground his pelvis against Remus, hands tugging at the other man's clothes.

"Off," he panted, pulling away, "Off, now." Sirius tugged up on Remus's jumper.

Remus nodded, pulling the jumper and his vest over his head, his breath catching as Sirius's fingers brushed against him while pulling down the zipper of his trousers. He found himself spun around, his back pressed against the wall, with Sirius kneeling in front of him, pushing his pants and trousers to the floor. He sucked in a deep breath, his head falling back, hitting the wall behind him as Sirius's mouth wrapped around his cock, his throat constricting tightly around the sensitive head.

"Fuck, Pads…" he moaned, his hands gripping Sirius's hair tightly as he tried to pull the other man up. "Wait. I want to be in you when I come. I need to be in you."

Sirius slowly pulled away, his teeth lightly grazing along Remus's length, smiling at the growl that escaped the other man.

"You're playing with fire, Padfoot," Remus said, pulling the other man up completely before claiming his mouth.

 _Oh, don't I know it_ , Sirius thought to himself as he leaned into the kiss.

He could get lost in the taste of Remus. He was intoxicated by the man in his arms, and he never wanted to let go. He felt the back of his legs hit the mattress and he lay down, moaning as Remus settled over him. The feeling of their bodies pressed against each other, skin to skin – cock to cock – was almost enough to make him come right then.

 _No_ , he silently chastised himself, _you are not a fucking 14-year-old. Hold it together!_

Remus moved down Sirius's body, his lips and tongue leaving a burning trail along Sirius's skin. Taking a nipple in his mouth, Remus nipped at the pebbled skin, before laving it with his tongue to sooth away the pain. He smiled against Sirius's as the other man bucked against him, his cock pressed against his stomach.

"Fuck! Moony, please," Sirius moaned, his hands fisting in Remus's hair.

"Patience, Padfoot," he said, chuckling at Sirius's whimper before nipping at his skin again. "You will be patient," he growled, his eyes meeting Sirius's.

He watched as Sirius immediately submitted, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed and nodded his head. Remus returned his lips to Sirius's skin, continuing his path down his body, deliberately avoiding the one thing he knew Sirius wanted the most. It wasn't until Sirius was writhing with desire that he wrapped his lips around him, his tongue and teeth running along Sirius's length. Sirius bucked against Remus's face as Remus swallowed around his cock. His hand trailed down, cupping Sirius gently in his hand, his fingers pressing against the skin of his perineum.

"Fuck," Remus moaned as he pulled his mouth away, the vibrations reverberating along Sirius's skin. "You taste so fucking good."

Remus wanted nothing more than to bury himself bollocks deep in Sirius, but knew he needed to wait, he needed to give the other man a moment to adjust. He may be a beast, but this wasn't some random fuck, this was his mate. His fingers continued their path, pressing against the tight ring of muscles that guarded his ultimate goal. He murmured a quick lubrication spell, before pressing his finger deep into Sirius's body.

"Please… more," Sirius moaned loudly.

Remus was grateful for the previous night's activities as a second and third finger slid into Sirius without much effort. He could felt his cock twitch and had to bite his lip to keep himself from slamming into Sirius. He worked his fingers slowly within Sirius's body, stretching him as gently as possible.

"Fuck, Moony, now…I need you in me now."

Those words broke him and Remus felt Moony take full control of his body. The need to claim Sirius was beyond anything he had ever felt, and he knew that there was no chance that he would be able to temper down the desire that coursed through his body. There was no way he would be able to not give into the need to mark Sirius as his.

"Get on your hands and knees," Remus growled, pushing Sirius's hip to try and turn him over. Sirius complied, his breaths coming out in pants, his chest pressed against the bed below them.

Remus ran his hands over Sirius, his mouth following as he nipped at the exposed skin. Renewing the lubrication charm, Remus moved up behind Sirius, hesitating for only a second before driving himself into Sirius, sinking in completely until he was buried to the hilt.

He set a steady pace, his hands gripping Sirius's hips as he drove himself into the other man's body. The world disappeared and all that mattered was the man beneath him and his desire to mark him as his mate and make him his and his alone. He paused for a second, realization slamming into him, taking away his ability to breath. He was in love with him. He desperately and completely loved Sirius Black and the idea scared him more than the idea of facing down Voldemort.

"Remus?" Sirius panted out, looking over his shoulder, "Why did you…"

"Turn over Sirius," Remus said quietly, pulling out and sitting back on his heels. Sirius complied, a look of confusion on his face.

"I needed to see you," Remus said softly, moving back between Sirius's legs. "I needed to be able to kiss you, to watch your face as I moved inside of you."

Remus sucked in a breath as he pushed back into Sirius, the other man's body arching up to accept him, pressing them closer together, Sirius's legs wrapping around his waist. Sirius's eyes closed, his head tilted back as Remus captured his mouth with his own. They moved together in a slow rhythm, their hands and mouths searching out any part of the other they could touch.

"Don't stop," Sirius panted, his legs tightening around Remus, pulling him in as deep as he could. Remus was close, his pace faltering as he pushed them both towards orgasm. His face was buried in Sirius' neck, teeth nipping at the skin as he tried to restrain himself from marking Sirius.

"Gods, please, Remus, do it," Sirius panted in his ear, tilting his head to the side as he submitted himself to the wolf's needs and desires.

"Pads," Remus whispered, his tongue tracing along the length of Sirius's neck.

"I trust you. I am already yours, you stupid man, take what I am offering you," Sirius spoke between pants, running his nails down Remus's back. "Moony, please," he groaned.

Remus broke at the sound of Sirius panting out his name, he couldn't deny himself any longer. With two final thrusts, he sent them both over the edge as he sunk his teeth into the skin of Sirius's neck. He had died, he was sure of it as stars danced across his vision. It was as if the world had exploded within him. Somewhere in the distance he could hear Sirius's cry of ecstasy and it felt as if something were clicking into place. The world may be crumbling around them, Voldemort's forces beating them back against the wall, and yet none of that mattered. All that mattered was the man in his arms, the second part of his soul, and that for this one blissful moment, they were together and they were safe. He was Sirius's and most importantly Sirius was his.

His heart rate began to slow as the orgasm ebbed to a pleasant relaxation. He slowly retracted his fangs from Sirius's skin, gently licking up the blood that seeped from the wound. He could feel Sirius's heart beating against his chest and he had to admit that he was stalling, his thoughts racing as he tried to piece everything together. He slowly turned his head, his eyes at once meeting Sirius's. There were no words, and for a few minutes all they did was stare at each other, their hearts slowing back to a normal pace.

"Sirius," Remus began, his voice rough with emotion. "Are you okay?" he asked, his nose nuzzling against the bite mark as he pulled out of Sirius's body and rolled to lay on his back beside him. "I'm sorry to have marred you."

"Remus, I love you more than my own skin," (2) Sirius replied with a smile. Remus snorted, trying to hold in his laughter.

"You are beautiful, you know?" Sirius said, rolling on his side to watch Remus.

"Well, you are truly fucked, aren't you?" Remus said with a smile.

"Yes," Sirius responded quietly with a smile. "I meant what I said, you know? I do love you."

"Yes, I know," Remus turned towards him, his hand running into Sirius's hair, cupping the back of his head. He pulled him in for a kiss, claiming Sirius's mouth with his own. They parted slightly, lips lightly touching as if they could not bear to part completely from one another.

"I am in you and you in me, mutual in divine love," (3) Remus whispered, his forehead against Sirius's. "I am yours and you are mine, for all eternity."

"And beyond," Sirius replied, rolling over on top of Remus. "For eternity and beyond."

* * *

References

(1) Prisoner of Azkaban Movie quote – story prompt.

(2) Quote from Frida Kahlo

(3) Quote from William Blake


End file.
